For one person, two people, a household or a team

Hard conversations. Better terms.

Work out what you actually want to say, and — if you want — say it with the other person here too. Each of you gives your own account privately, and the guidance is built from both. It never decides who won.

Free. No card. Invite someone only if you want to.

Your guide

You

Same argument about money again. I don’t want to start from scratch explaining it.

Guide

You don’t have to. In March you said the trigger was being told after the fact rather than the amount. Last time, saying that plainly worked better than waiting for the right moment.
Uses your private contextNot shared with anyone
Private to you. The other person is not told this conversation happened.

How it works

Three steps, and you can stop after any of them.

1Start with your side

Talk privately to your guide. Work out what actually bothered you, and what you want out of saying it.

2Add someone if you want

Nothing you have already written becomes visible simply because they join. Most people use it alone for a while first.

3Work through the conversation

Independent perspectives first, then the things you already agree on, then the things you do not — one at a time.

What using it actually looks like

On screen

This is the actual product.

Not a mockup. These are screenshots of the running application, with demo content written for the purpose — nobody’s real writing is on this page.

A check-in screen: a row of numbers from one to ten, a space to add detail, and a labelled control reading Shared, Private and Never shared with Private selected and explained underneath.
The privacy choice is on screen before you write, with a name, an icon and a sentence on each level — never colour alone.
A de-escalation screen with a box headed “What happened, from your side”, and a note saying the account will be shared only once both people have written one.
Each of you writes your own account first. They cannot see it until they have written theirs.
A shared session screen marked Shared, stating that everything in it is visible to both people and that private notes are not in the room.
A session you do together, built only from what you have both shared.
A patterns screen showing an observation that Sundays are rated lower, with an average, the number of check-ins behind it, a confidence label and a “Why?” link.
Patterns, hedged, always linked to the evidence they came from.
A sharing screen listing entries with their privacy badges, where one item at a time can be shared.
Sharing is one item at a time, and never all at once.
The import screen explaining that imported material arrives private and cannot be imported into a shared space.
Bring your history from another assistant. Nothing is written until you commit.
A billing screen showing the monthly AI credit as a bar, how much has been used, and roughly how many replies are left.
What is left of your AI credit, and roughly what it covers.

Why it is different

Four things a chat window cannot do.

Two independent perspectives

Neither person reads the other’s account until both are written. Not as etiquette — the moment you read their version, your own quietly reorganises itself around it. Then both appear at once, with what you already agree on named separately from what is actually disputed.

Your own private guide

You each have one, and it knows your history rather than starting from nothing every time. It never briefs the other person, and it never tells them there was anything to know.

Context that stays private

Private material can shape what your guide suggests to you without ever entering a shared session — because a shared session runs on a separate path that cannot read it, not on a filter that could be misconfigured.

It learns from what helped

Ratings change the style — shorter, blunter, more options. Debriefs do the harder thing: they record whether the suggestion actually worked. An approach can be gratefully received and leave the argument exactly where it was.

Why not just use ChatGPT or Claude?

For a one-off question, do — they are genuinely good at the question in front of them. What a chat window has no structure for is a second person, a boundary between what you would say out loud and what you would not, and whether last month’s suggestion actually worked.

The honest comparison

Before, during, after

A disagreement has a life longer than the row.

Most of the damage is done before it starts and after it ends — in how it gets raised, and in whether anything actually changed.

Before

Say it however it comes out, pick what you want from saying it, and get a version you could actually send. Nothing reaches anybody until you share that one thing deliberately.

Works when the other person never joins.

During

Both accounts first, then one issue at a time with the rest explicitly parked rather than dropped. If it is escalating rather than settling, it says so and stops rather than coaching through it.

After

A short debrief, answered separately — what was resolved, what was not, whether you felt heard. Neither of you sees the other’s answers.

The same argument four times is four arguments, unless something between them is different.

Privacy you can see

Three levels. You pick one every time you write.

Not a settings page you visited once. The level is on screen while you type, and it decides what the other person can ever see.

SharedShared — the other person can see thisThey can see it.

Used in sessions you do together, and in anything you both look at. This is the only level that ever reaches them.

PrivatePrivate — only you can see thisThey cannot see it.

Yours. Your guide can use it to help you. You can share a specific item later if you decide to, one at a time.

Never sharedNever shared — the other person cannot see this and cannot tell it existsThey cannot see it, or that it exists.

Never quoted, summarised, counted in a total, or hinted at. Excluded from shared figures before they are calculated, not filtered out afterwards.

The two limits on the strongest level are a small number of serious safety cases and lawful process — neither of them the other person, and both written out in full rather than hidden behind a percentage. The whole privacy model, including how it is enforced.

Who it is for

Not only couples.

A space holds one relationship. Whether anyone else is in it is up to you.

On your own

Plan a hard conversation, or keep a private record of how things are going. Nobody has to be invited, ever.

Each of you gets your own private guide, plus sessions built only from what you have both shared.

Arrangements, handovers and the things that keep being renegotiated — with a record of what was agreed.

Family

More than two people in one space, for the things that involve everybody. Private stays private for each of them.

Money, mess, guests, noise — the ordinary things nobody wants to be the one to raise.

A disagreement with a colleague, or an expectation nobody actually agreed to. Not an HR system.

Pricing

Features are free. AI is what costs money.

We don’t charge you to unlock relationship features — there is no part of OnBetterTerms a free account cannot use. What costs real money is the AI itself, so that is the only thing metered.

The free plan includes $2.00 of AI credit a month — about 13 typical replies — and 30 minutes of voice transcription. When it runs out, AI pauses until the month resets. Nothing is charged and nothing accrues. Plus and Together buy a larger allowance — for one person, or for two — and nothing else.

You’re paying for compute, not permission.

What each plan includes

The goal is not to get good at talking to this.

It is to get through the conversation with the person. Nothing here asks you back daily, there is no streak to keep, no score on your relationship, and a check-in meant to take ten seconds takes ten seconds.

A tool for hard conversations that quietly became the easier place to have them would have failed at the only thing it is for.

Start with the conversation already on your mind.

Free, no card, nobody else has to know — and you can delete everything, including anything you imported, at any time.